I read somewhere recently that a definition of suffering is wanting something to be different to what it is. If that is the case then the bigger the difference, the greater the suffering.
So, I am curious about how you are suffering right now? What’s really, really bugging you about how your life is and how you want it to be?
“Most people struggle with life balance simply because they haven’t paid the price to decide what is really important to them.”– Stephen Covey
Many times we make choices because we feel that we have to. We find reasons for the things we do. We take on values and beliefs we think we should have, often because we want to fit in.
Maybe it is the place you live in, the city, suburb or town, and you are there because you’ve been told that is what you should aspire to. You may want to be somewhere else, living a different lifestyle. Maybe it is the house or apartment you live in. Maybe it is the job or career you have which you don’t like anymore but you stay with it because of the money.
You may desire material things because society, culture, media, or peers say it will make your life complete. You may desperately want to send your children to certain schools, do certain activities so they can have a better (sic) life. You have chosen to believe that you need these things because when you have them you, and your loved ones, will be happy.
The real price many people pay is time – time for themselves, time for loved ones and time to just ‘be’. So many people think they don’t have time and often because they think they need to be doing something ‘constructive’ and ‘productive’ even in leisure. And then they complain about not having life balance. They then get stressed out trying to make time for relaxation!!
Those things, those desires you usually have are often not part of your real beliefs and values. They are what you have taken on as your own because you felt you had to. If that is the case then why are you choosing to suffer for something you don’t want? Where is the balance, where is all your energy going? What is happening to your wellbeing?
What would happen if you stopped taking on other people/society’s values and beliefs? What if you had the confidence to make decisions based on your true values and beliefs? What is it that you want more than anything in the whole world?
If you were to cast away everything that cost you money, what would you consider to be priceless in your life right now? What if what you really wanted, if what would make you happy, is in your life right now but you aren’t even allowing yourself to recognise it? You never know, you may already have it. You could have what you want but just can’t see, hear, or feel it because you aren’t being who you are meant to be.
Life balance is being true to your own values. It’s having an attitude of faith and trust in YOU. It’s re-setting your “happiness set point” to YOUR real beliefs. When you find what it is that you want, what is true to you, you can easily move towards it and have independence from suffering. Because when you are true and authentic, everything you desire will become effortless.
- Identifying and Clarifying Values (kingpincoach.com)