This week the Happiness and its Causes forum will be held in Sydney with a couple of speakers being Martin Seligman and Sogyal Rinpoche. I thought this TED talk by Shawn Achor would be a good starting point for those of us who are not attending.
Enjoy and then please share with me what thoughts came to your mind.
I read something today where the writer stated “All I need are the right rules and victory would be mine.”
That got me wondering about how that related to life in general. How often do we live our lives by other people’s rules and as a consequence are unhappy, feeling like we have lost out? This tied in with something else I had previously read by an economist about “herd economics” and how there is a tendency to position ourselves relative to the rest of the group (society) i.e., keeping up with the Joneses (KUWJ). Basically he proposed that we are all happy enough individually but when we compare our “position in the herd” we can become dis-satisfied and start wanting more. The economist provided an example of people paying exorbitant prices for houses (KUWJ). I’d include people who live in certain suburbs for the prestige/ so they can send their children to the “right” schools; designer clothes; brand cars (e.g., BMW, Mercs, etc.) and etc………….. I’m sure you get the idea.
So, that was how I got to thinking about how we can be happier by making our own rules for our lives – a sort of designer life – one that is tailor made just for you. Now, how exclusive would that be?
“Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all travelling to one destination; –happiness; but few are going by the same road.”
Charles Caleb Colton
Just imagine what it would be like to live a life made especially for YOU – it would be unique, your very own life that no-one else has, made to your own specifications. You decide what you want. If you are in a relationship and/or have a family, it will be designed for the relationship/family, where you all get together and make up the rules (yes, include the children – it’s amazing what they come up with)
There is so much in this world to experience and so many of us that there is really no right or wrong way for YOUR designer life.
What do you want your life to look like?
Where will you be living?
How often do you want to travel?
Where in the world do you want to experience?
Who do you want to experience it with?
What books do you want to read?
What else do you want to see, hear and feel?
How much more time do you want with your family/friends/loved ones?
What would you like to do more of with them?
If you had a bank that credited your account each morning with $86,400 – with no balance carried from day to day – what would you do? Well, you do have such a bank and it’s called……time.
Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it rules off as “lost” whatever you have failed to use. It carries over no balances and allows no overdrafts. You can’t hoard it, save it, store it, loan it or invest it. You can only use it – time.
So, I am interested to know – how will you design your life to make the best use of that 86,400 seconds to live your life as you want?
Attitude counts for so much of the way we see things in life, how we communicate, what we tell ourselves about what is happening, and how we feel about events. It also determines what we think we can do.
I have been following a blog Inspired Beeing by Cat. She has an incredible attitude towards life and getting out there and doing what inspires her, following her passion. 
I came across her blog not long after I watched a Turkish movie ”Honey” at a film festival last year. The movie was set in north east Turkey and I fell in love with the coutryside straight away.
I’d love for you to meet Cat so if you haven’t already visited her via my blog roll, I invite you to check out the venture she has worked so hard with many other people to bring about. Please get involved, even in a small way and support an amazing young woman and her Turkish colleagues and locals. I am thinking about going in late July for the fourth trip. How about you?
The following is quoted from Cat’s Vision and Mission
“Taste Balyolu: a venture that connects small-scale, eco-friendly women beekeepers with regional markets, and funnels a percentage of the profits towards providing basic entrepreneurship and business development training for these women. The honey is made in a specific region, with specific flowers, aiming to preserve indigenous bee species and flora alike. The program also works with members throughout local communities to launch specialized honey tasting tours (tat-tours or api-tours) thus building environmentally and economically sustainable livelihoods for all.”
You know, perspective is really important. It is the way you look at something that makes the difference. One way to do this is to shift focus. The best way to do that is to ask the right type of questions.
Let’s look at this more closely. Imagine that if you ask “how can I lose weight?” you will be finding ways to cut things out of your life – probably foods, and food that you enjoy, and getting more exercise – you’d probably see it as a chore. If on the other hand, you asked yourself – “how can I get fitter and healthier (which is what you would end up if you dieted and exercised more anyway), you would be focussing more optimistically on how to make changes in your life to achieve that goal. I’m sure you would find ways of exercising that you enjoy, you would perceive the food that you would be eating in a more positive manner and you ‘d enjoy it more as well.
When I first started walking up the steep streets behind my place, I used to use a mantra as I walked – strong legs, tight butt – in time to my pace – one word per movement - It worked for me and I found that my physiology changed as well when going uphill – going up seemed a whole lot easier.
There are many other areas in life to change the questions we ask ourselves.
Instead of asking how can I feel less stressed, ask how can I feel calmer
Make it a question around something that has meaning for you. If you know what your values are, pick out one of those values and find a way to do something around that value. If you value timeout and solitude, ask yourself what can I do, or where can I go, for 15 minutes today –(I have an Art gallery about 2 minutes away and a rose garden about 5 mins down the road.
If fun is something you value ask, “What can I do today to laugh more?”
You’ve got it?
The thing that started this for me today was a video that was emailed to me by a marketing company pointing out that the questions we ask impact upon our results in business, and so it is for any area of our lives.
The analogy used was that of a very large boat, one of those multi-million dollar ones you see in marinas, weighing tons, being propelled by a small propeller. In other words, it’s the little things that move us forward. It can be just a small shift in attitude that can create a great day as opposed to a crappy one.
Hmmmmm………So, my question for tomorrow, Monday 6 February is going to be “What can I do to make my day more efficient?”
What will be your question for tomorrow?
