Do you know how to be happy? Take a few risks

Do you know what the secret to happiness is?  The number one thing that separates people who realise their dreams and those that don’t is taking a risk.  Being brave, audacious, feisty, bold, daring, courageous, gutsy, spirited, adventurous, and exploratory even; there are many words to describe taking a risk. 

There are a number of reasons people fall back on to NOT take a risk and lead their ideal life, to be happier.  Here are just a few:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of rejection
• The need for certainty
• The need of approval from others
• Absence of desire to change
• Lack of confidence

Best tip – TAKE ACTION, and then:

• Allow for mistakes – you will make lots along the way, and probably need to.
• Look at risk as an opportunity to learn.
• Be prepared to ask for help
• Do some planning (not too much otherwise you won’t start)
• Take baby steps
• Reward your successes, of which taking the baby steps is included.
• Evaluate and adjust along the way

I read something the other day which goes something like this.  Go out on a limb – the view is much better from there and you are more likely to find some fruit.  Hmmm…sounds pretty good to me

“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible”.  Arthur C. Clarke

Along the way, don’t be afraid to stop and take a different path if it is not working for you.  When I finished my life coach training, I really didn’t have any idea of what was available in the business of coaching and personal development.  I had a vision which was based on very limited information.  I wasn’t aware of the possibilities.  Once I started exploring those possibilities, I stopped 1:1 coaching to focus on creating my life and business the way I want it.  I knew nothing about marketing, social media (hey, I just started using FB recently and on a BIG learning curve), had no networks with similar business models to connect with.   Even when I started this blog, I really didn’t know what I was doing but I did it anyway.

Now, I’m investing money (yes, maxing out the credit card) and time to learn, to connect, to experiment so I can create a life that will be built on my values.   Yes, I am making mistakes – but who cares.  Yes, I will get knock backs and rejected –that’s just part of life. Yes, there will be people who will criticise me and what I do and how I do it – oh well, that’s more of a reflection of their lack of confidence in themselves and a lack of imagination.   Who cares if some people think you are crazy?  Whose life is it anyway?

Think not of the risk of taking risk, think instead of the risks of NOT taking that risk.

And, if people think you are crazy?  At least life will be more interesting.  So, what crazy ideas do you have for creating happiness in your life?  I’d love to hear them.

Related articles

• Letting Go and Allowing:What Are You Afraid Of? (adapting2change.me)
• Taking risks…There is nothing to Fear (lifeinharmonyandbalance.wordpress.com)
• The Risk of Living Fully (joyofspa.com)
• How To Turn Fear into Growth (livebreathegrow.wordpress.com)

Three things to give up this week to make life happier and more successful (borrowed from the Purpose Fairy’s 15)

I am going to be on the Gold Coast later this week for a 3 day seminar learning how to structure my business with a new niche.  A lot of people that are going to be there are already running their businesses very successfully and earning 6 and 7 figure incomes.  So for me, as a newbie, it is going to be an exercise in expanding my comfort zone (although at least this time I know what a JV is).

So, here are the 3 things I am going to give up this week to make my life happier and easier; to be in a better and more receptive frame of mind so I can make the most of what I will be learning in those few very intensive learning days.  I wonder if you’d like to do the same and we can compare notes after I return? 

1/ Self-defeating self-talk

Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.  Allow yourself to:

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Toll

2/ Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

 

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

 3/ Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”

 Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

Related articles

• Don’t Mind (eliseonlife.wordpress.com)

Happy Mother’s Day and lifestyle design

I have been very quiet of late in regards to writing.  The reason is that I am in the process of changing from a business offering just straight life coaching to something else.  I have done a lot of thinking about what I want and how I want it all to work and so have been working my way through some home study business programmes.  Anyway, I have tried to do it all myself and realised that I need to be with people who understand what I am doing and can support me and I can also support them so I even signed up to attend a 3 day seminar in June in an effort to really fine tune my niche and network my butt off – well…………it’s on the Gold Coast and I have rewarded myself by booking the final night at the Sea Temple !!!  

In the mean time, the past few weeks I have been able to spend time with the grandchildren:

It’s tiring being a cute baby

A teen who thinks knickers can be a substitute for a beanie

A child who also doesn’t know which part of her body corresponds to which item of clothing

Yes, apples grow on trees – they don’t already come in buckets at the farmers’ markets…….. carrying a handbag, false nails and wearing bangles can make picking a bit tricky too.

I have also watched amazing sunrises

watched a bit of surfing,

other people torturing themselves crawling in the sand

did some yoga and just chilled out in the mornings…..and no, I’m not going to post a pic of my in downward dog position

My purpose for creating a lifestyle working from home or wherever I wish?  More of all of the above …………oh yeah – something else……………travel, learning languages and having lots of different experiences   ………although I can do without being held up at a traffic accident in the rain in the mountains while I am busting to go to the loo

What’s your ideal lifestyle design?  I’d love to hear about it.

 

 

 

Related articles

• Inspiration for today: Who are your role models? (lifestyletea.wordpress.com)
• happy mother’s day… (carlienbosman.wordpress.com)

The Most Important Things in Life

I came across this earlier today. The question asked was “What are the most important things in life?”  Many of the answers were the same, the most popular ones I have highlighted in colours

Ethics.

Family and friends

Happiness

Living my life and not the life of others around me

Integrity and character.

Liberation

God

Relationships.

Harmony.

My relationship with Jesus Christ

Awareness.

The freedom of choice.

LOVE

Know who you are.
Know what you want and why.

Friends, especially those who become “chosen family.”

Having a dream and heading toward it.

Health

Passion and intensity

Peace of Mind.

Surf Life, Don’t Control It. Enjoy.

Gratitude as an attitude.

1. Breathe in
2. Breathe out
(Repeat)

Learning, growing and having meaningful relationships.

Doing what is right (a.k.a. living my life according to my ethics, principles, and beliefs).

*yourself
*attitude

Spirituality

Peace

Being sincere in all my relationships and dealings with people and doing things for others without any ulterior motives

The most important thing according to me is to live life to its fullest.

Life is a priceless gift to us and we should treasure it. Make a difference to another life and leave your footprints on sands of time to be remembered forever.

Know who your true friends are

The journey!

A contribution to make to humanity

Courage to do what is good.

Sanity

I realised that I really don’t know…..I f*ing don’t know!  And that’s terribly scary….

Peace of mind

Serving and loving others

SELF ESTEEM

What have you noticed?  

Money is not on the list. 

The formula for happiness and success

This week the Happiness and its Causes forum will be held in Sydney with a couple of speakers being Martin Seligman and Sogyal Rinpoche.  I thought this TED talk by Shawn Achor would be a good starting point for those of us who are not attending. 

Enjoy and then please share with me what thoughts came to your mind.

 

 

Get over yourself

I heard this from someone yesterday as one of his 3 tips on how to have an amazing year.  Getting over yourself means being more playful, bringing more fun, more lightness into your life.  He stated that there was so much “terminal seriousness” going on in the world today and asked can we really afford to have another serious person on this planet.  The ultimate way of living life deeper, rather than faster, living a regret free life, accessing inner peace is to get over ourselves and stop taking ourselves so seriously and just enjoy the moment, laugh at ourselves when we do silly things.  Laugh at our little mistakes, the ones that don’t mean anything (like my usual thing – I trip over nothing on the street)

Someone else left a comment about a condition called Temporary Seriousness Infection (TSI). Don’t you just love it? I have decided to use the TSI label for those times when I am taking things too seriously. So, this week when you are finding that you are getting stressed about something, ask “Is this TSI?”

I would really love to hear how you go with this one

How to finish 2011 and look forward to 2012

The New Year is upon us and we all look towards 2012 with different expectations about what it will bring.  Some of us will look back at 2011 with sadness, some with relief, some with surprise, and some with happiness, some with contentment.   

I came across a great idea by Janet Beckers the other day. She and her family make a celebration board of things that they did, things that happened during the past year that they want to acknowledge and celebrate.  I was so impressed that I started looking for coloured pencils and my A3 art pad straight away.   I made my celebration board within 20 minutes of watching her video. 

It made so much more sense to recognise the good times, actions of which we are proud, events that challenged us and that we accepted, than to ruminate and berate ourselves over what went wrong.  

Now, if you have had a read of previous posts you will know that I don’t do New Year resolutions.  When I look at my celebration board the best things on there were either totally out of my control (Hello, Emily my new granddaughter!), or things that I didn’t know about until the year progressed, such as the Wealth Dynamics seminar in Bali, the meditation weekend in the mountains…   I think there are only 2 items on the board that I was aware of this time last year.

So, as we are about to have a couple of days public holiday, take time to grab some paper and coloured pencils, crayons or even biros and start your celebration board.   It’s about you and doesn’t have to be perfect or arty.  It’s something to have fun with.  If you have children that’s even better as they are a great inspiration with creativity and fun.  

To start you of here are a couple of pics of parts of my celebration board. 

Remember – it’s about FUN!!!

Who are you and what are you doing with your life?

I came across a list of 50 questions recently and thought I’d post some here for you to think about.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?  If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? 

I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this 

Don’t die wondering

I was having a conversation the other day with a few people about life in general and the topic come up about how many people don’t follow up with ideas, desires, their passions etc. One of the group said “Don’t die wondering”. I really like that term and makes more sense to me than having a bucket list.  I have only come cross that term, bucket list,  recently and to tell the truth I don’t like it.  I mean, think about it – “bucket”.  What do you think of when you hear that word? To me it conjures up images of housework, vomit (sick bucket), dirty water, chook food, etc – hmmmmmm………….not very inspiring. 

I thought about don’t die wondering and it excited me more than having a list (bucket or no bucket).  Having a list may suit some people but to me it makes it too much like a “should”, too restrictive.  There are plenty of experiences out there that I don’t even know exist yet.  My desires change over time and the things I liked and wanted to do many years ago have changed; they are no longer important to me.  Having a list and abiding by it may mean losing opportunities to do other things that can be more exciting or memorable.

The beauty of the Don’t Die Wondering philosophy is that when an opportunity arises, maybe something you had never thought of, you can decide if that is something you’d like to experience.  Is it something that if you don’t do, you’d die wondering “what would it have been like?”

The other benefit is that there is no expectation – that it does not have to be a success so to speak.  If it doesn’t turn out the way you thought, it doesn’t matter – you did it anyway, just for the sheer experience. I came across a blog recently where the writer talked about having a bucket list of things they NEVER want to try. She got that idea from another blogger.

That method can work well too, it means that if an opportunity comes up and it is NOT on that list, give it a go anyway.

So, pick which philosophy fits you and see what can happen.  Whichever one you chose, have fun with it

 

Life: What’s stopping you?

Often the only thing or person stoppping us from getting anyway in life is ourselves.  We can decide to be full of self doubt or we can go ahead and live the life we want.  One way to deal with doubt is to reframe it as an UNAUTHORISED PERSON

A little while ago I asked the following question to several people.  See if you can pick who had kept the unauthorised person OUT.

What do dream about changing in your life, and what is stopping you?

• I dream about robust physical health, becoming a fitness model, improving my financial situation, going back to school, investing in a long term relationship, a little bit of travel and visiting my grandmother every day.
  What is holding me back or stopping me?
  Doubt and bad thinking. It is also a bit of feeling that I do not deserve the good in life. I am relegated to where I am right now without there ever being any movement.
• I dream of having a job right now. The economy at large is a factor in the process.
•  Actually, when imagination improves my life, the dream stops it.
•  I have already started to change my life by setting large goals with mini-goals along the way. My goals are to improve my financial situation, achieve a work/life balance that allows me to enjoy my family, live a healthy lifestyle and be successful. At the beginning of the year, I took a lot of time to work out how I would achieve these and what my mini-goals are for each. As the year progresses, I find that I have checked off more than I would have if I’d “winged” it and that I have achieved plenty more that isn’t on the list. At the end of the year, I’m happy to say, I’ll be well on my way to reaching my goals. Many of my goals are mid- to long-term and I feel that I will be able to surpass them (and will have to stretch them a bit further as I get closer). “Aim for the moon and you will at least land among the stars.” (Don’t know who said it, but I believe it.)
• I dream about becoming a world-renowned speaker and thought leader in the area of Innovation and Social Psychology. And, there is NOTHING stopping me — I’m on my way
• Very timely question. I dream about changing my circumstances – being able to live comfortably and closer to my family. Being able to travel when I want to without having to worry about the finances required to do so.  What’s stopping me is the courage to just take that leap out of the plane and trust that the parachute will open
•  My dream is work in multinational company with good salary and find Suitable girl , I think serious concern of failure makes me lose my focus: that can stop me but in general I don’t give up easily .
• To improve my skill into the bestest that I can. Well, imagination can help to change our dreams into success but without any action nor hard work it won’t come into effect.   What is stopping me? Nothing, No one and nobody can stop me to reach my goal, only GOD’s will can help me throughout to my success.
•  Playing it all out and become unstoppable in what I want to be!
  and, what stops me is my identity  -the belief that I am what I was, not what I am possible
•  I always have a concern that dreaming on its own achieves nothing.  I think the key is to design what your ideal life looks like then get stuck in to looking for ways to turn that into reality.   I started designing my ideal life 10 years ago when I escaped the corporate rat race. It has returned much better results than the years I just spent dreaming about how I would like things to be.   I would encourage anyone who wants something to be different in their life to get really clear on what ideal looks like then start taking steps to make that happen. The rewards are high

So, I’m a bit curious - how are you stopping your-self and what are you going to do about it?

Related articles

• Are You Living Your Dreams? (socyberty.com)