Tag Archives: comfort zone

Limiting beliefs, defeating self talk and fear

Posted on by
Reply

OK, so now you’ve had a couple of weeks to practice on 3 limiting beliefs.  How did you go?

I’ve already shared with you the other day about Delice Kennedy (INSERT LINK)  http://theattitudequeen.wordpress.com/2012/06/26/718/ and how not having limits can create success.

So, now I’d like to share with you what else I noticed while I was on the Gold Coast last weekend. 

The vibe at the seminar was about success and being positive, expanding the comfort zone.  A LOT of people there were out of their comfort zone – more that I would have imagined so I felt better than I had been feeling before I went.   I heard a lot of limiting beliefs and self defeating talk from many people. Also, we all had to face our fears of standing on stage in front of about 150 people.

Several times each day I had my own thoughts and beliefs come up which I had to get rid of and replace with more belief in myself.  What I noticed is that other people will have more faith and belief in what you can do than you do yourself.

Here are some defeating self-talk and limiting beliefs I lifted from Seth Godin’s blog

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/06/whats-on-your-list.html

“I have kids at home, I don’t have a manager, I need to pay off student debt, my boss never lets me, I’m really busy because of soccer season, my knee is acting up, there’s already five galas coming up, my RSI hurts when I type, I don’t have a degree, I have a degree and can’t waste it, I’m not good at that, I tried it before but it didn’t work, I’ve never tried it before, the weather is crazy, isn’t it, the election is right around the corner, it’s been too long at this job they won’t listen to me, I’m going to retire soon, I’m too young, I’ll never learn, it’s too risky…”

So I had an idea that would have been interesting to carry out at the seminar. The main purpose of the weekend was to develop a presentation for your own business, after clarifying the niche, but what I noticed was that some of us were more capable of coming up with ideas for someone else’s business.  The thing is that other people don’t see inside of our heads and what we are thinking.  My idea was that we could be placed into groups to develop a plan for another group member’s business. 

I wonder what would happen if we extended this to our personal lives; if we pretended that we were someone else looking at us.   What could we achieve? 

The only thing stoping you is not allowing yourself to indulge your imagination. 

http://theattitudequeen.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/want-to-have-a-wonderful-life-trust-your-imagination/

Related articles

Don’t die wondering

Posted on by
2

I was having a conversation the other day with a few people about life in general and the topic come up about how many people don’t follow up with ideas, desires, their passions etc. One of the group said “Don’t die wondering”. I really like that term and makes more sense to me than having a bucket list.  I have only come cross that term, bucket list,  recently and to tell the truth I don’t like it.  I mean, think about it – “bucket”.  What do you think of when you hear that word? To me it conjures up images of housework, vomit (sick bucket), dirty water, chook food, etc – hmmmmmm………….not very inspiring. 

I thought about don’t die wondering and it excited me more than having a list (bucket or no bucket).  Having a list may suit some people but to me it makes it too much like a “should”, too restrictive.  There are plenty of experiences out there that I don’t even know exist yet.  My desires change over time and the things I liked and wanted to do many years ago have changed; they are no longer important to me.  Having a list and abiding by it may mean losing opportunities to do other things that can be more exciting or memorable.

The beauty of the Don’t Die Wondering philosophy is that when an opportunity arises, maybe something you had never thought of, you can decide if that is something you’d like to experience.  Is it something that if you don’t do, you’d die wondering “what would it have been like?”

The other benefit is that there is no expectation – that it does not have to be a success so to speak.  If it doesn’t turn out the way you thought, it doesn’t matter – you did it anyway, just for the sheer experience. I came across a blog recently where the writer talked about having a bucket list of things they NEVER want to try. She got that idea from another blogger.

That method can work well too, it means that if an opportunity comes up and it is NOT on that list, give it a go anyway.

So, pick which philosophy fits you and see what can happen.  Whichever one you chose, have fun with it :)

 

What’s your attitude? Fear or love/courage.

Posted on by
2

Taking charge and doing what is right for you can be a bit hard for most people. When you think about the decisions you have made in the past, and the ones you are making now…..what emotion were you, and probably still are, choosing to make that decision?? Fear? ….that you may upset someone else by not doing what they want, fear of a new experience, fear of doing something that you have never done before, fear of getting it wrong, or love/courage….love for them/yourself, courage to do what you feel is right for you/them?
Last week I was in a situation where I was waiting, waiting, waiting………… actually, waiting for weeks and weeks ………for a friend to make up her mind about the dates for a trip overseas with me & another friend.
Time was moving on, we were missing out of the cheaper air fares, we couldn’t arrange other parts of our lives, our work, other things we wanted to do because we didn’t really know the dates we would be away. We had a basic itinerary of locations and time frame but even that kept changing to fit in with my friend’s shifting needs and wants. In the end I realised that I wasn’t getting to do much of anything that meant something to me.
It is a very long way to go and NOT do things I enjoy. So I booked a trip for myself to a yoga retreat in France, one that involves other activities I love and one that I had wanted to do for 3 years, putting it off because it was inconvenient for other people.
Now, I could have done nothing and waited some more (and still be waiting). That decision would have been based on fear, fear that I may upset both my friends. Instead, I based my decision on love/courage. My love of learning yoga, meeting new people, my courage in doing what is important to me and my health, my courage in deciding to get right out of my comfort zone, travelling thousands of kilometres by myself (a new experience), exposing myself to another language of which I have only a basic knowledge.
Most people would hesitate to do something like that – they would think that they may hurt the other person’s feelings, tread on their toes, inconvenience them etc. That can be uncomfortable; especially when you think about the law of The Law of Reciprocity – you know – how you treat others is how they will likely treat you. There comes a time though when enough is enough and it is time to do what is important to you.
It’s like this…sometimes it takes courage to choose something that may not feel too good at the time, something out of your comfort zone, but deep down you know is right for yourself or someone else.
If you have small children you’ll know about that  – they want something that is not good for them (like wanting to run out on to the road) and cry and throw a tantrum yet you don’t give in because you know that giving in will not be good for them so you make a decision based on love (care). It’s the same with the decisions we make for ourselves, yet often we will take the easy way out and NOT get what is important to us because we are sacred. Scared of hurting other people and/or scared of being out of our comfort zone.
Yes, there are times when we will make choices that are not what we really want but are important to other people because those choices will be based on love for them NOT fear that they will not like/love us anymore.
That is the important distinction in making decisions – there are times when our love or courage will mean that the needs of others will be more important and other times when love and courage will lead us to make decisions that are not going to be liked by other people.
I may still be able to travel with my friends for part of the trip after my yoga retreat, but even if I can’t that’s OK. At the end of my life I want to look back and be glad that I have experienced my life in a way that is meaningful to me. If the meaning is that I give up something I want out of love for someone else that is fine because I will get enjoyment and happiness from that, but I will not give up my needs out of fear.

P.S. If you are wondering about the photo at the beginning of this post – well, that is next to the launch for the hang-gliders and the view get just as they launch themselves off – some people may feel fear – others only feel love of flying and freedom  :) )

Related articles