Finding time to meditate

Last weekend I went to my first ever meditation retreat in the mountains with Paul Wilson and some of his friends and felllow meditators.

The surroundings were just right.  The air smelt wonderful, at night and early morning it was various types of eucalypt, the sounds of the birds, the frogs at night,  the running water in the creek, the night sky full of stars…………………

On Saturday I sat on the bank of a creek, opposite a small waterfull.   It was so meditative that I later I tried to record it to post on here so you could all experience it.   My camera is very basic and the sound turned out to be very unwaterfull-like………………….  I’ll just post a pic and you can imagine what it sounds like

During the weekend one of the things we discussed was finding time and a place to meditate.  Paul suggested that we don’t get too precious about it and take advantage of small periods of time, even just a few minutes, sometimes is the most unlikely place [- I did suggest the toilet cubicle at work . 

Since last weekend I have found myself noticing opportunities for small periods of meditation. This morning was a good example.  I went for my usual walk and was going to go to the supermarket on the way home.  The trouble is that the only supermarket here doesn’t open until 8am and I was not far from there when I noticed that I had another 15 minutes to go.  I was walking through a park so, instead of doing what I would normally do and keep walking, I sat on a bench, closed my eyes and did a  small meditation. 

I wonder, what opportunities can you find to practice meditation or even just mindfullness?  Maybe start with something simple like waiting for the kettle to boil….

I’d love to hear how you go with this one

Related articles

• Meditation Is….. (medititilation.wordpress.com)
• Peaceful moments (aboundingwellness.wordpress.com)

What nobody told you about breaking bad habits.

There is so much written about changing old habits and creating new ones.  There is also a lot of advice about how to do it and how much time it will take.  I remember reading something once where is was said that it only takes 21 days to make a new habit – really?? are you sure??? 21 days!!!. 

How many times have you started doing something, a new habit or doing something differently and even after a month, two months or even four months, you lapsed back into your old ways.  It doesn’t take much, does it?    And we all do it.  Then it is so easy to give up and not try again. 

It seems that nowadays there is so much emphasis on quick change.  And occasionally it does happen if you have a massive mind shift.   It depends on how much you want it and how much embedded it is in your unconscious mind.  Mostly, it takes time. The other day I was reading a book** I have had for a long time on yoga.  Now I am a bit of a long term on & off yoga person – I started it when I was about 12 and if you really want to know the truth, I’m more off than on – yes, I haven’t made it a habit yet.  Anyway, in the book I came across an explanation of the yogic cycles of time and the specific cycles of time it takes to change old habits and create new ones.  So here it is:

To change an old habit into a new positive one – 40 days

To confirm the new habit in you – 90 days

To allow the habit to become who you are – 120 days

To ensure that you have mastered the habit – 1,000 days

Well, I don’t know about you but I felt much better when I read that.  I realise now that it is fine to feel like wanting to relapse after a month or two or even three – it is actually normal.

A lot of people put themselves down when they resume an old habit after a few months but looking at the yogic cycles, it will take about 6 months to entrench the new habit into you AND approximately 2 years and 9 months years to master that new habit.  21 days does NOT a habit make.

It’s OK to experience feelings of wanting to give up, it is normal to feel like that. The trouble is that so many of us do just that – we give up, and too early according to the yogic cycles.  The easy way is to accept that you feel like giving up, but don’t buy into that feeling; think of it as hmm…. just like that chair over there, an object that you can observe without feeling like you have to go and attach yourself to it.  I mean, come on, how stupid would you look going everywhere with a chair stuck to you.  Accept that it will take time to become the change, and to be that change, unconsciously and easily.  In other words, PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN!!

It takes more than a few grains of sand to make a beach

 

It takes more than a few floors to make a high rise

It takes more than a few drops of salt water to make an ocean

It takes more than a couple of mountains to make a mountain range

It takes more than a few dozen panels to make the Guggenheim

So too it will take more than a few weeks to create your new life. 

I’d really like to hear what you think and what your habit changing journey is like

**Yoga for Women, by Shakta Kuar Khalsa . Published in 2002 by Dorling Kindersley Limited, London

Related articles

• It’s A Lie: Why 21 Days Is Not Enough To Help You Build Lasting Habits (healthmoneysuccess.com)

Bali, sunrises and blogs

Back from Bali and catching up on my emails and the blogs I subscribe to.  Most of them are are very different to mine and often include lots of pics.  Here are the links.  Have a look and let me know what you think:

http://inspiredbeeing.com

http://portraitsofwildflowers.wordpress.com

http://wakeuptiger.blogspot.com

After my few days in Bali, I was feeling a bit chilled so decided to post pics of the month of August starting at the end of the month

The view from the door of my room @ Vision Villas

The rice paddy next door

I think this is in Denpasar – it’s opposite an ATM

The sun setting @ Ulawatu

Part of the dance performed @ sunset.  I can’t remember what it is called.  Maybe you know.

I met some lovely people at the Wealth Dynamics Academy and one lady in particular who was inspiring.  She is an older woman who lives by adage that it is never too late to do anything you want in life.  When I got back home I found the following in an email from a friend who is also living her life as if it is never too late.  If you are in Adelaide, go along for a great evening – it’s FREE:

INVITATION

You are invited to attend a free information evening on “It’s Never Too Late To Make A Change”. Topics covered will be

• Is there are “right” age to make a lifestyle change?
• What is my Passion? My Purpose”
• Living a Life of Meaning
• Impact on Relationships
• Ego and Enjoyment
• Slowing Down or Catching up?

Details: Tuesday September 6th, 6 – 8.00 pm at The Box Factory – Regent Street South (off Halifax Street), Adelaide.

Click here for more information and to register: 

http://us1.campaign-archive2.com/u=e75342f48cabcb1fc8c860240&id=9595be7345&e=de36b9e732
or email gina@adelaidewellbeing.com.au
Ok – now here are some pics of my August 2011 – it wasn’t a very bright month in the early morning as you will see:

 

Related articles

• Bali Dreams; Part II (apathapart.wordpress.com)
• Bali – Island of the Gods (petersadventures.wordpress.com)
• My favorite places in Bali (journeyandwords.wordpress.com)

Being Happy

Today I have decided to give this space over to Di Sutton and her July newsletter (with her permission)

http://au.linkedin.com/pub/di-sutton/20/3b7/774 

 

Di is a coach who specialises in Matrix Therapy, particularly with women over 35 who are ready to make amazing breakthroughs in their lives and become free from negative influences and emotions.  Her qualifications include:

• Master Practitioner in Matrix Therapies
• Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming
• Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming
• Practitioner in Time Line Repatterning
• Certificate IV in Life Coaching
• Practitioner in Coach Mastery
• Your Quest (discovering purpose and passion)
• Matrix Therapies Advanced Training
• Matrix Constellations and Archetypes
• Co-creating the Matrix (Spiritual Program)   

Quote of the month:

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

Dale Carnegie

BEING HAPPY

Many people think the ultimate in life is being happy. While it is unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time, there are some strategies we can use to increase the amount of time we feel happy in life. No one gets it right 100% of the time, we do the best we can.

Recently I attended a seminar conducted by Professor Timothy Sharpe from The Happiness Institute in Sydney and would like to share some of the ideas from that which I found helpful.

Positive psychology is the scientifc study of optimal human functioning. It is about people thriving and flourishing. It is more than seeking pleasure, it is about engaging in life. We can learn to be happy. Positive emotions are helpful and if we have them we are likely to build our lives and open and broaden our mind.

How can we be happy? One of the strategies is to be present. To live in the present moment. People who live in the present moment have

• health and wellbeing
• concentration
• productivity and efficiency
• happiness and positive emotions
• good relationships and communication

There is very little difference in people, and the difference that makes the difference is attitude – whether it is positive or negative. There are optimists and pessimists. Optimistic people have a hopefulness and confidence about the future and a successful outcome of something.

Check out The Happiness Institute website for more information: www.thehappinessinstitute.com

Tips for dealing with our ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)

Are you aware of your ANTs? (automatic negative thoughts). We all have them at times. They include:

• · Catastrophising
• · Being black and white
• · Personalising
• · Mind reading
• · Over-generalising
• · Filtering

If you cannot think of examples when you have these, I’m sure you know people who do. Such as the person who is always having dramas in their life. Nothing is simple and calm – all events are full of drama. A way to deal with our ANTs is to be flexible in our thinking and modify our thinking style to suit the context.

We can move between different thinking styles – nothing is right or wrong

4 steps to help deal with our ANTs:

• · Identify thoughts
• · Label the ANTs
• · Question/challenge unhelpful cognitions
• · Replace with more helpful, realistic ones

Ask, are my thoughts

• · Realistic
• · Take into account all the facts
• · Helpful

Can I look at things

• From a different angle
• In another way
• Is it really that bad
• Get Temporal perspective (how important will this be in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days, 10 weeks’ time?)
•  Alternate perspectives
• Problem solving
• Acceptance

Discovering our top character strengths

Getting to know ourselves is crucial to living an aware life, and discovering our strengths and talents is a sure way to increase our sense of happiness.

If you would like to discover your top 24 character strengths, click on www.viasurvey.org This survey is free and once you have found your strengths, if you would like to know more about making the most of them, email me on di@connexioncoaching.com.au and I will send you additional information.

Please answer me by Noemi Lee
Why do you say

you “hate” happy people?

Does that mean

you hate happiness?

Why is it that

happiness is considered

to be a four letter word?

Must you always

wear a scowl

on your face?

Can’t it take

a bathroom break?

How can you expect

to find happiness

when you continue

to push it

father and farther away?

Why do you hold

such disdain for

happiness?

What wrong has

happiness

done to you?

So, you mean

you’ve never had

happiness?

Then, how can you

hate something

you’ve never known?

Would you like to experience more happiness in your life?
Do you behave in ways that cause unhappiness at times and don’t know where the behaviour comes from?
Are you at a stage in your life where you want change, but are not sure which direction to take?

If you would like to explore this, take advantage of a complimentary 1.5 hour coaching session with Di Sutton, Master Practitioner in Matrix Therapies and Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming
Phone 0401 266 316

di@connexioncoaching.com.au  www.connexioncoaching.com.au

Connexion Coaching

Related articles

• What Stops YOU Being Happy? (happinessguru.wordpress.com)
• Classical Psychology and Nlp-neuro-linguistic Programming: (socyberty.com)

Live the life YOU really want

I read somewhere recently that a definition of suffering is wanting something to be different to what it is.  If that is the case then the bigger the difference, the greater the suffering.

So, I am curious about how you are suffering right now?  What’s really, really bugging you about how your life is and how you want it to be?

“Most people struggle with life balance simply because they haven’t paid the price to decide what is really important to them.”– Stephen Covey
Many times we make choices because we feel that we have to.  We find reasons for the things we do.  We take on values and beliefs we think we should have, often because we want to fit in. 

Maybe it is the place you live in, the city, suburb or town, and you are there because you’ve been told that is what you should aspire to.  You may want to be somewhere else, living a different lifestyle.   Maybe it is the house or apartment you live in.  Maybe it is the job or career you have which you don’t like anymore but you stay with it because of the money. 

You may desire material things because society, culture, media, or peers say it will make your life complete.  You may desperately want to send your children to certain schools, do certain activities so they can have a better (sic) life. You have chosen to believe that you need these things because when you have them you, and your loved ones, will be happy. 

The real price many people pay is time – time for themselves, time for loved ones and time to just ‘be’.   So many people think they don’t have time and often because they think they need to be doing something ‘constructive’ and ‘productive’ even in leisure.  And then they complain about not having life balance.  They then get stressed out trying to make time for relaxation!!

 Those things, those desires you usually have are often not part of your real beliefs and values.  They are what you have taken on as your own because you felt you had to.  If that is the case then why are you choosing to suffer for something you don’t want?  Where is the balance, where is all your energy going?  What is happening to your wellbeing?

What would happen if you stopped taking on other people/society’s values and beliefs?  What if you had the confidence to make decisions based on your true values and beliefs? What is it that you want more than anything in the whole world?  

If you were to cast away everything that cost you money, what would you consider to be priceless in your life right now?   What if what you really wanted, if what would make you happy, is in your life right now but you aren’t even allowing yourself to recognise it?  You never know, you may already have it.  You could have what you want but just can’t see, hear, or feel it because you aren’t being who you are meant to be.

 

 

Life balance is being true to your own values.  It’s having an attitude of faith and trust in YOU.  It’s re-setting your “happiness set point” to YOUR real beliefs.  When you find what it is that you want, what is true to you, you can easily move towards it and have independence from suffering.  Because when you are true and authentic, everything you desire will become effortless.

Related articles

• Identifying and Clarifying Values (kingpincoach.com)